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Something Must be Done at Once!

 

The world had become dull and listless; something had to be done at once! Nixon was in chains and Carter was doomed from the start. The smart boys say nature abhors a vacuum, well so does a suck tide. What follows are some of the nasties that plagued our newspapers daily. It was high times for hack newspaper editors filling our minds with unfamiliar concepts like Death to America, Blindfolded and Gaged, Roaming Death Clouds, Terror from Space, Malaise and some shit hole called Afghanistan. TV anchors whined with grim expression and grave pedantic concern in two-minute sound bites. Even the squirrely local news outlets were getting in on some of action. People were making desperate midnight calls to their bookies and stockbrokers. Oh what have thou wrought Evil Empire and Vile America! Even goofball weather reporters got a slice of the unpleasant pie with massive hurricanes, herds of tornados and Earth shattering tectonic shifts. Neptune was leaving the scene giving up its place at the table to Pluto. The Mardi Gras cancelled. Jimmuh attacked by a vicious swamp rabbit while fishing in his hometown of Plains, Georgia, the SS have no explanation. The end was nigh. 

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