JAMES H. BIRD

EPIGRAMS

 

The following are some pithy posts and remarks I have made on various blogs including Bird's Blog of Babel, and social media pages. I still chuckle over some these and some I have no idea what I was thinking of when I wrote them. I also include quotes from other writers maybe you! I'll rotate these over time so check back!

 

 

 

• “A man’s mission, his only mission in life is to use to the best of his ability, those God given talents to the betterment of those he touches. Therefore, he then obtains the best of himself, by the pursuit of perfection conceding that immutable grace is unachievable. It is aspiration then, which the best covet near purity that affords greatness. Even in temporal perfection, an entity never equates the speed of light, the graceful flawlessness and sole providence of God.” This appeared in Tullahom Mud a Historical Fiction.

 

 

• Today there were several hundr… thous… millions of squiggly black things on my screen. Didn’t know what they were at first, thought maybe aliens had inhabited my body. I told them to go away but they refused. I hate aliens. Anyway, I asked my housemate, “What are these black squiggly things on my computer?” She looked, “There’re words, and you’ve been holed up in here all week writing, drinking beer and watching basketball. Have you showered?” I thought and said, “When did it last rain. I like walking in the rain.” My housemate sighed and said, “Have you eaten?” “Sure!” I said. “Looky here, Doritos, Cheetos, peanuts, and … well, I don’t know what this, or use to be.” She said, “I think that died last century. Here, I brought you a cheeseburger from town.” I was confused, it seemed to shake lose some vague memories of a past life. “Thanks!” I said. Then I went away again…

 

 

• Many, many years ago, I worked briefly at a Shoneys with a buddy of mine. We were ordered to change the sign. To what? We inquired. “Oh, think of something” the not-to-be-bothered manger responded. So we trooped out to the sign armed with long pole with suction cup and here is what out genius minds came up with: THE BOSS SAID CHANGE THE SIGN.   SO WE DID.  My illustrious career took a turn for the worse. I have  many 

 

I have done many strange things during my somewhat illustrious life. There will be many more of these posted on Bird’s Blog of Babel, can’t write about Historical Fiction all the time! 

 

 

• Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it
   
  "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

 

 

• Morning (US) Ya’ll!  You know, old trees just grow stronger; old rivers grow wilder. So if you see me walking down the street all alone, just say hello in there. Everybody’s talking at me, but I can’t hear a word their sayin’, only the echoes in my mind. Tackle this day with reckless abandon and leave bad memories at the station. ‘Cause love is always gonna break your heart and leave you with anticipation. Just don’t dream it’s over, ‘cause old trees just grow stronger and old rivers grow wilder.
  4/1/13

 

This is a paragraph of hooks I used from songs.  Can you guess the song or artists?

 

 

• Philosophy of a writer
   
  What do you know of history, biology, evolution, ethics, and the thousand and one branches of knowledge? "But," you object, "I fail to see how such things can aid me in the writing of a romance or a poem." Ah, but they will. They broaden your thought, lengthen out your vistas, drive back the bounds of the field in which you work. They give you your philosophy, which is like unto no other man's philosophy, force you to original thought.
   
  Jack London
  (The Editor, October, 1899)